About a year ago I met a Communications Director in a parish nearby who has since become a friend. In that first conversation, he said something that startled me.  I asked him, “How are you?” and he answered, “Totally blessed!” 

From his response I figured he had a pleasant life without major struggle. Nevertheless, I felt one of those Holy Spirit tugs on my heart, the kind that announces that God is about to teach me something new that I really, really, really need to learn.

Curious, I searched his name on Google. Was I mistaken! The burdens under which this person labored were more than I personally could bear. In the months that followed I got to know him a little bit more and to respect his calm and childlike trusting manner while coping with the personal tragedy with which he lived day in and day out. 

And every time I asked him, “How are you?” I without fail received the same quiet and serene response: “Totally blessed! I am totally blessed!” 

My friend wasn’t living in denial, as Jesus himself wasn’t living in denial the night before he was crucified, later to rise from the dead and take his place at the right hand of God. Both know that love is tough. Love is beautiful. Love gives. Love will even die for the loved one. 

In today’s Gospel Jesus shows us stability with the words “remain,” “keep,” “complete.” He had received his Father’s love, and he would love us with that same self-emptying divine love. There is no way that we could understand the loving giving and receiving that happens between the persons of the Most Holy Trinity. But we get it when someone dies for us when he or she doesn’t have to. 

My friend is totally blessed because he has clothed himself with this self-emptying love. Regardless of the difficulties he must navigate just for his family to survive, he experiences the stability of Christ’s love because he has decided to keep the commandment of love just as Christ has loved us: “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).

I have decided once and for all that my whining must stop. I am totally blessed. Yes, if I seek comfort, power, and control I will do nothing but pity myself for the rest of my life. And heaven knows we hear enough about that on the news and in social media. But you and I have the stability of Christ’s divine love offered to us, a love we can emulate, a love that will make us truly great people because we can be great lovers if we so choose. Then our joy will be complete and our life will be serene no matter what comes our way. We truly will be totally blessed!

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Hace un año conocí a un Director de Comunicaciones en una parroquia cercana que ahora se ha convertido en un amigo. En esa primera conversación, dijo algo que me sorprendió. Le pregunté: “¿Cómo estás?” y respondió: “¡Totalmente bendecido!”

Por su respuesta supuse que tenía una vida placentera sin muchas dificultades. Sin embargo, sentí uno de esos tirones del Espíritu Santo en mi corazón, del tipo que anuncia que Dios está a punto de enseñarme algo nuevo que realmente necesito aprender.

Por curiosidad, busqué su nombre en Google. ¡Estaba equivocada! Las cargas bajo las cuales trabajaba esta persona eran más de lo que yo personalmente podía soportar. En los meses siguientes llegué a conocerlo un poco mejor y a respetar su manera tranquila y confiada frente a la tragedia personal que vivía día a día.

Y cada vez que le preguntaba: “¿Cómo estás?” Sin falta recibí la misma respuesta tranquila y serena: “¡Totalmente bendecido! ¡Estoy totalmente bendecida!”

Mi amigo no vivía en negación, como Jesús mismo no vivía en negación la noche antes de ser crucificado, para luego resucitar de entre los muertos y tomar su lugar a la diestra de Dios. Ambos saben que el amor es duro. El amor es hermoso. El amor se entrega. El amor incluso morirá por el ser amado.

En el Evangelio de hoy, Jesús nos muestra la estabilidad con las palabras “permanecer”, “mantener”, “completar”. Había recibido el amor de su Padre, y nos amaría con ese mismo amor divino abnegado. No hay manera de que podamos entender el amoroso dar y recibir que ocurre entre las personas de la Santísima Trinidad. Pero lo conseguimos cuando alguien muere por nosotros aunque no tiene que hacerlo.

Mi amigo está totalmente bendecido porque se ha revestido de este amor desprendido. Independientemente de las dificultades que debe atravesar solo para que su familia sobreviva, experimenta la estabilidad del amor de Cristo porque ha decidido guardar el mandamiento del amor así como Cristo nos ha amado: “Nadie tiene amor más grande a sus amigos que el que da la vida por ellos” (Juan 15:13).

He decidido de una vez por todas que mi lloriqueo debe cesar. Estoy totalmente bendecida. Si busco consuelo, poder y control, no haré nada más que compadecerme de mí misma por el resto de mi vida. Y Dios sabe que escuchamos suficiente sobre eso en las noticias y en las redes sociales. Pero tú y yo tenemos la estabilidad del amor divino de Cristo que se nos ofrece, un amor que podemos emular, un amor que nos hará verdaderamente grandes personas porque podemos ser grandes amantes si así lo elegimos. Entonces nuestro gozo será completo y nuestra vida será serena sin importar lo que se nos presente. ¡Seremos verdaderamente, totalmente bendecidos!

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“Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners. Of these I am the foremost. But for that reason I was mercifully treated, so that in me, as the foremost, Christ Jesus might display all his patience as an example for those who would come to believe in him for everlasting life” (1 Tim. 1:15–16). St. Paul was a murderer of Christians. But was he really “the foremost” of sinners? What could he have done to deserve that title?

Paul is likely using hyperbole here, but it isn’t without meaning. Maybe he wasn’t, technically speaking, the worst of sinners. But he ruthlessly betrayed Christ, and knew well what his life, and afterlife, could have been like had he not been knocked to the ground and blinded by Jesus. St. Paul was able to look at sinners and say what many saints have said: “There, but for the grace of God, go I.” Although he may not have been the greatest of sinners, St. Paul knew the evil that dwells in the human heart.

This evil is something that we all struggle with, at the very least in concupiscence, the inclination to sin resulting from the sin of our first parents. Concupiscence is not in itself a sin, but it is a bitter struggle: “For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want. . . . When I want to do right, evil is at hand. For I take delight in the law of God, in my inner self, but I see in my members another principle at war with the law of my mind, taking me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members” (Rom. 7:19, 21–23).

Paul, familiar with concupiscence, has experienced the desire to do terrible things, and the actual commission of those things, despite a truly noble aspiration to do the good. He knows in his core that had it not been for Jesus Christ’s direct intervention, he would not have been able to be the holy man that he was. For this reason, he gives thanks “to the king of ages, incorruptible, invisible, the only God, honor and glory forever and ever” (1 Tim. 1:17).

When we face the depths to which we can sink as Paul did, we begin to see that we are not all that different from even the most notorious of sinners. It is the grace of God and our cooperation with it that divide us. Without the Lord, we are “like a person who built a house on the ground without a foundation. . . . It collapsed at once and was completely destroyed” (Luke 6:49). But with God’s grace, we are like the good tree that bears good fruit, and the house on a firm foundation. Calling to mind this completely undeserved gift, we have reason to echo the praise of St. Paul and the praise of the psalmist: “Blessed be the name of the Lord. . . . Who is like the Lord, our God, and looks upon the heavens and the earth below? He raises up the lowly from the dust; from the dunghill he lifts up the poor” (Ps. 113:2, 5–7).

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“Cristo Jesús vino a este mundo a salvar a los pecadores, de los cuales yo soy el primero. Pero Cristo Jesús me perdonó, para que fuera yo el primero en quien él manifestara toda su generosidad y sirviera yo de ejemplo a los que habrían de creer en él, para obtener la vida eterna.” (1 Tm 1,15–16). San Pablo fue un asesino de cristianos. Pero, ¿era realmente “el primero” de los pecadores? ¿Qué pudo haber hecho para merecer ese título?

Es probable que Pablo esté usando una hipérbole aquí, pero no sin sentido. Tal vez no era, técnicamente hablando, el peor de los pecadores. Pero él traicionó a Cristo sin piedad, y sabía muy bien cómo podría haber sido su vida, y la vida después de la muerte, si Jesús no lo hubiera derribado y cegado. San Pablo pudo mirar a los pecadores y decir lo que muchos santos han dicho: “Por la gracias de Dios, allí voy”. Aunque puede que no haya sido el mayor de los pecadores, San Pablo conocía el mal que habita en el corazón humano.

Este mal es algo con lo que todos luchamos, al menos en la concupiscencia, la inclinación al pecado resultante del pecado de nuestros primeros padres. La concupiscencia no es en sí un pecado, pero es una lucha amarga: “Porque no hago el bien que quiero, sino el mal que no quiero. . . . Cuando quiero hacer el bien, el mal está a la mano. Porque me deleito en la ley de Dios en mi interior, pero veo en mis miembros otro principio que está en guerra con la ley de mi mente, llevándome cautivo a la ley del pecado que mora en mis miembros” (Rom 7, 19, 21–23).

Pablo, familiarizado con la concupiscencia, ha experimentado el deseo de hacer cosas terribles, y la comisión real de esas cosas, a pesar de una aspiración verdaderamente noble de hacer el bien. Él sabe en su interior que si no hubiera sido por la intervención directa de Jesucristo, no habría podido ser el hombre santo que fue. Por eso da gracias “al rey eterno, inmortal, invisible, único Dios, honor y gloria por los siglos de los siglos” (1 Tm 1, 17).

Cuando enfrentamos las profundidades a las que podemos hundirnos como lo hizo Pablo, comenzamos a ver que no somos tan diferentes incluso de los pecadores más notorios. Es la gracia de Dios y nuestra cooperación con ella lo que nos divide. Sin el Señor, nos parecemos “a un hombre que construyó su casa a flor de tierra, sin cimientos. Chocó el río contra ella e inmediatamente la derribó y quedó completamente destruida”. (Lucas 6,49). Pero con la gracia de Dios, somos como el buen árbol que da buenos frutos, y la casa sobre cimientos firmes. Recordando este don completamente inmerecido, tenemos razón para hacernos eco de la alabanza de San Pablo y la alabanza del salmista: “Bendito sea el Señor ahora y para siempre. . . . ¿Quién iguala al Dios nuestro, que tiene en las alturas su morada, y sin embargo de esto, bajar se digna su mirada para ver tierra y cielo? El levanta del polvo al desvalido y saca al indigente del estiércol,” (Sal. 113, 2, 5–7).

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We live in a more virtual world than ever before. Online meetings, emails, and videos are now the primary means of communication. Partially due to this, I have realized that it has been tough for me to be present to my husband and ultimately to Jesus, even though I have all the time in the world to spend in prayer and community with him.  

I once read a book that I feel has helped me grow in my vocation called Marriage: The Mystery of Faithful Love by Dietrich von Hildebrand. He talks about how important it is to nourish love, how part of the vocation as husband and wife is to intentionally put your spouse first (and ultimately your relationship together with Christ). I would like to share a quote from his text below:

Because our laziness, our dullness, and our constant falling back into the periphery stultifies our vision, it is difficult always to keep before us in all its same clarity and splendor the image of the other person so wonderfully revealed by love. We should and must fight against this dullness, for it constitutes a sin against the temple which we erected in our marriage. (von Hildebrand, 1984)

After reading this passage in the text, I realized just what it means to truly put your spouse first. I am thankful for the gift to realize how much my spouse means to me and how I have been taking him for granted. With this realization comes the fact that I have not been loving Jesus the way I should be striving to love Him. In our Gospel today, Jesus reminds us: “Remain in me, as I remain in you.” But I have been falling asleep in the garden, my laziness has taken over, and I am at the point where I am tired of making excuses.

With the grace of God, present and given freely to us all, I am choosing, as von Hildebrand states, to “fight against this dullness” and utilize the free will God gave me to love my husband and God the way it was meant to be from the beginning. My flesh may be weak, and I know I will fall many times in the journey of life, but God will remain in me, as I strive to love others. 

No matter the ways you are struggling to be present to others and ultimately be present to God, know that if you ask for the grace to love others and love Him more perfectly, He will give you the strength. He will help you overcome your vices and look further into yourself, so you may then see His presence in yourself and those around you. No matter if you are married, single, or consecrated to Christ, know that we are in this together – it all comes down to our human vocation, and that is to love.

“My vocation, at last I have found it; my vocation is love.”

-St. Thérèse of Lisieux

I love how well Jesus knows us. We believe Jesus was fully human and fully divine, but sometimes we have a tendency to lean into one aspect more than the other. For the times you see Jesus as too far away to relate to, more divine than human, consider the last part of our Gospel today. Jesus promises to send an Advocate, the Holy Spirit, who will “teach you everything and remind you of all that I told you” (John 14:26). I don’t know about you, but I can barely remember what I had for breakfast yesterday. What a relief it must have been for the disciples to hear they would have help recalling 3 solid years of teaching from Jesus! 

Joking aside, what an incredible gift we have received in the Person of the Holy Spirit. For those who have been confirmed, the fullness of the Holy Spirit is dwelling in you right now. The Holy Spirit is with you all the time, gently reminding you of what Jesus has already taught you. 

Many might call the voice of the Holy Spirit their conscience. But the Holy Spirit is so much more than that. Your conscience can definitely be formed and informed by the Holy Spirit, but if you have not disciplined it with Truth and the teachings of the Church, even your conscience can lead you astray. This is why we have to examine our conscience prior to receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation. We are not examining the Holy Spirit for fault, but our own inclinations, attitudes and choices. The Holy Spirit can help us properly examine our conscience and then, along with the grace received in the sacrament, continue to form it according to God’s Will.

Reflecting on the role of the Holy Spirit reminded me of another passage of Scripture from the Old Testament. In the Book of Deuteronomy, Moses is exhorting the people that the Word of God isn’t too far away, too wondrous to behold, or beyond their grasp. Rather, “it is something very near to you, in your mouth and in your heart, to do it.” (Deut 30:14). In some translations, it says “you have only to carry it out.” 

By the grace of the Holy Spirit, the Word of God is already dwelling within you, waiting for you to have the courage to act upon it. The Holy Spirit is continually speaking to you, pointing you in the direction you ought to go. 

I felt the conviction of these words from Deuteronomy so strongly I now have this Scripture reference permanently on my wrist. They are a daily reminder that I need to pause to listen to the Holy Spirit’s whisperings and then act upon them with boldness and courage.

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The question is often asked why you need religion at all. Can’t you just be a spiritual person and go directly to God? Especially in the wake of scandal, doesn’t it seem like all human institutions have failed in one way or another to transmit the Gospel to all people at all times? 

Years ago a very popular Youtube video showed a man speaking poetry claiming that he loved Jesus but hated religion. This seems to be a modern response to the horrible tragedies that have happened in religious institutions over the course of history, and these tragedies should not ever go unnoticed or the victims of these tragedies be forgotten. 

Though it may be coming from a genuine place of concern for people to say they don’t need religion, it is clear from the very beginning that Jesus founded a religion, a visible Church. He knew better than anyone that people could come directly to him, but he didn’t set it up that way. In today’s First Reading we hear a beautiful story of the early Church organizing and ordaining more priests in order to serve the growing needs of the flock. Right from the very beginning in Acts 6 we see the need for a visible Church that can bring the visible Christ to visible people with tangible needs. 

Of course we can always go directly to God, but as human beings we often get in our own way. I know many Protestant friends who ask God directly for forgiveness and then have to struggle through mental games wondering if they truly are sorry and repentant. One of the benefits to a visible Church and visible sacraments is that we don’t need to guess. Even Catholics can go directly to God and make a perfect act of contrition, but we are required by Canon Law to confess our sins to a priest, not because the Church wants to assure that we feel embarrassed about our sins, but so that we can have the assurance of forgiveness. 

Though the Church is not perfect because it is full of very sinful people, myself included, being spiritual and not religious constantly leaves us wondering or worried about where we stand before God. With the Sacraments we need not worry, we have the assurance of Christ. 

So take hope during this Easter season that God has set up a Church, that it is a visible body with authority, and that by living in this Church we can be assured that God is working for our salvation, despite the things we do or the lies we believe. Why not have the best of both worlds? Let’s make it a point this Easter season to be spiritual and also religious, clinging to the hope that Jesus brings through his death and resurrection. 

From all of us here at Diocesan, God bless!

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A menudo se hace la pregunta de por qué necesitamos la religión. ¿No podemos ser simplemente una persona espiritual y hablar directamente con Dios? Especialmente a raíz del escándalo, ¿no parece que todas las instituciones humanas han fallado de una forma u otra en transmitir el Evangelio a todas las personas en todo momento?

Hace años, un video muy popular de Youtube mostraba a un hombre hablando poesías y afirmando que amaba a Jesús pero odiaba la religión. Esta parece ser una respuesta moderna a las horribles tragedias que han ocurrido en las instituciones religiosas a lo largo de la historia, y estas tragedias nunca deben pasar desapercibidas y las víctimas de estas tragedias nunca deben ser olvidadas.

Aunque puede provenir de una preocupación genuina para las personas decir que no necesitan la religión, está claro desde el principio que Jesús fundó una religión, una Iglesia visible. Sabía mejor que nadie que la gente podía acudir directamente a él, pero no lo configuró de esa manera. En la Primera Lectura de hoy escuchamos una hermosa historia de la Iglesia primitiva organizando y ordenando más sacerdotes para atender las crecientes necesidades del rebaño. Desde el mismo comienzo en Hechos 6 vemos la necesidad de una Iglesia visible que pueda llevar el Cristo visible a personas visibles con necesidades tangibles.

Por supuesto que siempre podemos ir directamente a Dios, pero como seres humanos a menudo nos estorbamos a nosotros mismos. Conozco a muchos amigos protestantes que le piden perdón a Dios directamente y luego tienen que luchar con juegos mentales preguntándose si realmente están arrepentidos. Uno de los beneficios de una Iglesia visible y sacramentos visibles es que no tenemos que adivinar. Incluso los católicos pueden ir directamente a Dios y hacer un acto de contrición perfecto, pero el derecho canónico nos exige que confesemos nuestros pecados a un sacerdote, no porque la Iglesia quiera asegurarse de que nos sintamos avergonzados por nuestros pecados, sino para que podamos tener la seguridad del perdón.

Aunque la Iglesia no es perfecta porque está llena de gente muy pecadora, incluyendo a mí mismo, ser espiritual y no religioso constantemente nos deja preguntándonos o preocupándonos acerca de nuestra posición ante Dios. Con los Sacramentos no debemos preocuparnos, tenemos la seguridad de Cristo.

Así que ten esperanza durante este tiempo pascual de que Dios ha establecido una Iglesia, que es un cuerpo visible con autoridad, y que al vivir en esta Iglesia podemos estar seguros de que Dios está obrando para nuestra salvación, a pesar de las cosas que hacemos o las mentiras que creemos. ¿Por qué no tener lo mejor de ambos mundos? Procuremos en este tiempo de Pascua ser espirituales y también religiosos, aferrándonos a la esperanza que Jesús trae a través de su muerte y resurrección.

De parte de todos nosotros aquí en Diocesan, ¡Dios los bendiga!

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**This reflection was reposted from Diocesan Archives.**

On May 13th, Nathalie and I celebrate the anniversary of when we got engaged, on the Feast of Fatima. For those who have followed our story, you know we got married on October 13th, the other Feast of Our Lady of Fatima.

One of the reasons we stayed so close to Mary during these important moments is because of her example of service. When we got married we chose to wash each other’s feet instead of doing the typical garter and bouquet. We did this because we wanted to show the world that our marriage would be one of service, not only to each other but to the world.

It’s always great to be hit with this reading again where Jesus washes the disciple’s feet. It’s good because it makes me contemplate whether or not we have kept that mission as a couple. Have we served whenever we could? Have we served each other and God? Obviously that is a complicated question. I think we certainly have tried our best, with some great moments of service and moments when we can try harder.

This is a reminder for me and I hope it is to you as well. Sometimes we make the faith super complicated and heady. It doesn’t need to be. Are we serving? Jesus came and served. He was the Master and put himself in the place of the servant. He gave us an example. Do we follow it?

Especially in this world today, we need to serve. There is so much suffering, hurt, fear, anxiety, and worry. We can be the light to the world that goes out and serves without an expectation of getting anything back. All of us can grow in this area and that’s my prayer for myself today. That I grow even more in service during this month of Mary and try to do it in the way she did. 

From all of us here at Diocesan, God Bless!

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El 13 de mayo, Nathalie y yo celebramos el aniversario de nuestro compromiso, en la Fiesta de Fátima. Para los que han seguido nuestra historia, saben que nos casamos el 13 de octubre, la otra Fiesta de Nuestra Señora de Fátima.

Una de las razones por las que nos mantuvimos tan cerca de María durante estos momentos importantes es por su ejemplo de servicio. Cuando nos casamos optamos por lavarnos los pies en lugar de hacer la típica liga y ramo. Hicimos esto porque queríamos mostrarle al mundo que nuestro matrimonio sería uno de servicio, no solo el uno para el otro sino para el mundo.

Siempre es bueno escuchar esta lectura nuevamente donde Jesús lava los pies del discípulo. Es bueno porque me hace contemplar si hemos cumplido o no esa misión como pareja. ¿Hemos servido siempre que hemos podido? ¿Nos hemos servido el uno al otro y a Dios? Obviamente esa es una pregunta complicada. Creo que ciertamente hemos hecho nuestro mejor esfuerzo, con algunos grandes momentos de servicio y momentos en los que podemos esforzarnos más.

Este es un recordatorio para mí y espero que también lo sea para ti. A veces hacemos que la fe sea súper complicada y embriagadora. No tiene que ser así. ¿Estamos sirviendo? Jesús vino y sirvió. Era el Amo y se puso en el lugar del sirviente. Nos dio un ejemplo. ¿Lo seguimos?

Especialmente en este mundo de hoy, debemos servir. Hay tanto sufrimiento, dolor, miedo, ansiedad y preocupación. Podemos ser la luz del mundo que sale y sirve sin esperar nada a cambio. Todos nosotros podemos crecer en esta área y esa es mi oración por mí mismo hoy. Que crezca aún más en el servicio durante este mes de María y trate de hacerlo como ella lo hizo.

De parte de todos nosotros aquí en Diocesan, ¡Dios los bendiga!

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I often wonder what my guardian angel must think of me. I am not always a quick learner. I tend to make the same mistakes in different guises and wonder why I get the same results. More often than not, I think my guardian angel must get up in the morning and think, “Here we go again.”

Today’s Gospel provides us an archetype for those of us who need repetition in learning. Literary archetypes are those images, figures, character types, settings, and story patterns which are universally found across cultures. In today’s Gospel, we can see Phillip as an archetype for those of us who don’t quite get it the first time. 

Please, allow me to paraphrase the Gospel as I talk through my meditation on today’s Gospel. Picture Jesus and the apostles hanging out under an olive tree. There aren’t any other people around and perhaps the remnants of lunch are still on the ground. It is a quiet moment. Jesus continues his teaching, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life…if you know me, you know my Father. If you have seen me, you have seen my Father.”  Then, I pipe up and say, oops, I mean Phillip pipes up and says, “But if you could just show us the Father, then we would get it.” I can just imagine Jesus resisting the urge to smack his palm to his head and say, “Let’s try this again.” 

As Jesus’ response to Thomas’s doubts speaks to all of us who have ever questioned, so today, Jesus’ response to Phillip speaks to those of us who just don’t always catch on the first time. 

God is God of relationships. We see Jesus because of his relationship to the Father. It is because of their outpouring of love for one another that Jesus became man so we could see God. When we see Jesus, we see the Father’s love, we see the Father. Not only does Jesus incarnate God, Jesus shows how we are to love. We are to personify love. How many times do we think, well, if this person would just show me this side of themselves, then I would see God in them. If they didn’t cut me off in traffic, then I would see God in them. If…if…if… I imagine Jesus shaking his head and saying, “My dear, let’s try this again.” 

We are called to be in relationship. We are called to love. When we love openly, freely, completely, we won’t need to question, we will recognize the Father and the Son in each and every person we meet. 

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